It’s only 5,000 words for tomorrow at 5…

Acabo de passar por isso: cliente insistindo pra eu topar um trabalho cabuloso com deadline curtíssimo. Nessas horas, nada melhor que um vídeo engraçado pra distrair e lamentar a falta de tempo. Sem dúvida a compositora da música do vídeo (abaixo) é tradutora. Conseguiu expressar claramente a rotina “sem graça” de um tradutor!!!

The clock was close to quitting time

My desk was almost clear

I thought perhaps I’d slip around the corner for a beer

But the phone rang and I answered

And a friendly voice said ‘Hi!’

It was the secretary of a legal firm nearby

She said, “Oh, please, excuse me calling this late in the day.

But we have a new petition in the case that’s under way.

Can you translate it tomorrow? Any time by five will do.

Cause we wouldn’t want to give the work to anyone but you.” It’s only 5,000 words for tomorrow at five

I thought, ‘I’ll do this easily, I’ll scarcely need to strive’

So, I smiled and said, ‘No problem. I’ll just add it to my bill.

And you’ll send the check on Friday.”

And she said, “You know we will.’

I set to work 8 a.m.

I cut my lunch date short

By five this stuff was ready to be filed before the court

I sent it all by email and I made a cup of tea

And the phone rang, and I answered, and a lawyer said to me,

‘I’ve just looked at your translation, and I think it’s very good,

and I’d like you to translate an affidavit if you could.

It’s the size of that petition – well, perhaps a trifle more.

And you know that I’ll be greatful if you hand it in by four.’

It’s only 6,000 words for tomorrow at four

I thought I’ll get up early, I’ve a longish day in store

So I shrugged and said, ‘No problem. I’ll just add it to my bill.

And you’ll send the check on Friday.’

And he said, ‘You know we will.’

I hit the desk at seven and I ate my lunch alone

I never touched my solitaire or gossiped on the phone

At four o’clock I sent it off and shook my weary head,

And the phone rang, and I answered, and the junior partner said,

I really have to thank you for the jobs you’ve already done

And I know you’ll be ecstatic for we’ve got another one.

I’ve just written my summation, and you know how glad I’ll be

If your excellent translation will be on my desk at three.

It’s only 8,000 words for tomorrow at three

I though this won’t be easy, but I’ll have the evening free

So I sighed and said, ‘No problem. I’ll just add it to my bill.

And you’ll send the check on Friday.’

And she said, ‘You know we will.’

I started at 5:30, and my lunch was just a snack

At three I typed the last few words and sent the email back

I flipped my aching fingers and I silently rejoiced,

And the phone rang, and I answered, and the senior partner’s voice said,

‘You really are a wonder, and your talents are unique,

In fact, that’s why we kept you very busy all this week.

Now I know this is short notice, but I must rely on you,

For the judge needs my rebuttal to be on her desk at two.

It’s only 10,000 words for tomorrow at two

I thought ‘How can I tell him this is just too much to do.’

But I growned and said, ‘No problem. I’ll just add it to my bill.

And you’ll send the check on Friday.’

And he said, ‘You know we will.’

I staggered in at 4 a.m., I never ate a bite

But I got it done by two, although it was a trifle tight

I was dizzy, I was quizzy, and I thought I’d never budge

And the phone rang, and I answered, and, by God, it was the judge.

She said, ‘I know you’re tired, and I really hate to ask,

But there is no one in the city who can do this one last task.

I’ve just handed in my ruling – and she gave a modest cough –

And at 1 p.m. tomorrow the courier takes off’

It’s only 12,000 words for tomorrow at one

My mind shrieked, ‘No, your honor. There are things that can’t be done.’

But the words came out, ‘No problem. I’ll just add it to my bill.

And it’s been four months since Friday,

And the buggers owe me still.

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Arquivado em Humor tradutológico, Prática de tradução

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